


coming out thing

by potentiallythiswillbegay



Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli, bare: A Pop Opera - Hartmere/Intrabartolo
Genre: ...eventually, Alternate Universe - Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Pen Pals, Pining, also i repeat Everybody Will Live, everybody will live i promise, i can't promise any kind of schedule for updates bc i am a Useless Lesbian + high school student so, i merged the two universes, if you like matt then i am sorry, it's a simon vs au, rated g but warning for swearing and sadness, there's underage drinking and drugs and implied sexual content of minor characters just as a warning, yeah we all know who blue is LET ME LIVE, you can see who each of the characters are pretty easily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-05-31 17:39:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15124535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potentiallythiswillbegay/pseuds/potentiallythiswillbegay
Summary: Peter knows who he is. A very closeted gay kid at a Catholic boarding school who is the middle ground between his two closest friends and their loathing of each other.He knows who Pan is. A somewhat confident and dorky boy who emails the oh-so-charming Blue, who he's fallen for.Peter and Pan are separate. For a reason.Then comes Matt, who's single-mindedness and nosiness fucks it all up.What's the internet even for if you don't fall in love, have your whole world come crashing down and bring yourself hope? Specifically in that order.(A Simon vs/Love, Simon AU for bare: a pop opera)





	1. a weirdly subtle conversation

**Author's Note:**

> hi, hello, hey!  
> i love this musical too much to not contribute a fic to it.  
> so... enjoy this??  
> (this work is unbeta'd, as always)

When it came down to it, Peter didn’t know if he was angrier at himself or Matthew Lloyd.

“I just thought you’d want to help me out here.” Matt was saying, facing Peter, in the moments before Sister Chantelle begins rehearsal for the school play, Romeo and Juliet.

Matt, who Peter had thought was his genuine friend. Matt, who had instead come across Peter’s private emails, and instead of ignoring them, took _screenshots._ Matt, who was now asking Peter to help him get together with Ivy.

“Why would I want to help you get together with Ivy?” Peter’s voice remained as steady as possible as he finally spoke, refusing to let Matt get the best of him.

“I didn’t think you want anyone else to see these, that’s all.” Matt shrugs, and everything clicks at once.

 _‘Fuck.’_ is all Peter can think.

“Let me know, Peter.” Matt leaves without another word when his name is called from elsewhere, leaving Peter standing there with a million insults running through his head but none of them making their way past his lips.

Actually, the problem was entirely Matthew Lloyd related.

Fuck Matthew Lloyd.

Although… the only reason Matt had access to gain anything to use against Peter… may have been Peter’s fault. He had, in a rush to get a Pretty Important Response to a Pretty Important Email from a Pretty Important Boy, logged into the school’s computers to access his emails, and had forgotten to log out when Matt came to use the computer after him.

Now here we are.

“Peter!” Ivy’s call from the other side of the auditorium catches his attention, and he makes his way over to her. She’s sitting on the edge of the stage, her legs dangling down, so Peter takes a spot next to her, swinging his legs in time with her’s as she flips through her script.

Her precisely annotated and brightly highlighted script.

“Pink?” Peter finds himself asking as she flicks past one of her monologues – Juliet’s ‘Shall I speak ill” monologue with Nurse – raising an eyebrow as she looks up at him.

“It's better than the ugly green that Nadia's using.” She shrugs, and Peter has to hold back an eye-roll at the rivalry between the two girls.

He opens his mouth to comment but is interrupted by the majority of the chorus – including Lucas, Tanya, Zach and Kyra – barging into the auditorium with a flock of noise.

It doesn’t help that Lucas is carrying a speaker blasting _really bad music_.

Sister Chantelle descends on them almost immediately, scolding them for the noise and their ability to be “ridiculously late!”

Peter bites back a laugh as Lucas drops the speaker in a fumble to turn the music off as the singer begins swearing loudly, and Sister Chantelle’s eyes almost turn red with anger.

While Sister Chantelle is distracted, Peter notices none other than Nadia McConnell sneaking in late behind the group. She scans the room until her eyes catch Peter and Ivy on the stage, heading over to them while still avoiding Sister Chantelle’s gaze.

“Hey.” Peter waves at her, his eyes darting over her shoulder to yet another person entering the auditorium late.

“Jason!” Zach, one of the other senior boys, calls out as the other boy enters the auditorium.

“You’re a superstar, man.” Lucas joins in the yells, apparently saved from Sister Chantelle's glare now.

“And the golden boy enters.” Nadia rolls her eyes somewhat affectionately at her twin, not noticing both Peter and Ivy staring at the taller boy, watching how he laughs as he messes around with the other guys.

“Well, he’s top of the class, star player in every sports team he’s ever joined, and lead in the play. Not to mention, he's hot.” Ivy drags out the last word, her eyes meeting Nadia’s with a teasing glint against the other girl’s annoyance.

“Let's start this!” Sister Chantelle’s yell snaps everyone back into reality, and all the students slowly make their way from all corners of the room to circle around her in the centre of the room.

Sister Chantelle begins giving directions out to different groups of students, but Peter’s distracted by the feeling of someone watching him. He turns his head slightly to see Matt watching Ivy, then watching him.

If Peter had a violent thought about wanting to punch him in his stupidly perfect set of teeth… no one else heard it.

“Peter. We're starting, c'mon.” Nadia's nudge to Peter’s shoulder snaps him back into the moment, causing him to finally realise everyone moving into their positions for the big group scene in the play.

“Sorry.” He turns to move into his position next to Lucas and Jason before Nadia catches his arm.

“You good?” She seems actually concerned, her eyes scanning his.

He nods. “Just tired.”

That seems to convince her to at least drop his arm, and the scene begins.

Students spin, step and trip (which provokes an exhausted “Diane, focus.” from Sister Chantelle) around the stage as they run choreography that had been roughly explained to them by a junior with a missing voice.

As the scene is blocked out, and as Peter tries to remember his Queen Mab monologue while trying not to trip over, he can’t ignore the skin crawling feeling of Matt's eyes on him.

He sighs as he recovers from another almost trip.

The rehearsal couldn’t go quick enough.

 

* * *

 

 

After the gruelling trial of a two-hour extended rehearsal, it’s unsurprising that the minute Peter reaches his room he’s collapsed on his squeaky bed with a low groan.

Between class, play rehearsal and everything with Matt... sleep is a need.

He can’t help it as another groan slips past his lips as his mind continuously chants _‘BlueBlueBlueBlue’_ despite the fact that he doesn’t even really know who Blue is.

Well, he knows a few minor things about him. Like the fact that Blue is another boy at his school, either a junior or senior, with strict parents.

But that covers 90% of the upper two years of St. Cecilia’s.

But he does know something else that makes him unique.

Blue’s gay. Just like Peter. Making them two fish in an ocean of aggressive homophobia excused by religion.

The two of them met through _ceciliaconfessions.tumblr.com_ , a shitty and sketchy gossip blog started up by the students years ago. Blue had made a poetic post, amongst the sex and drugs shitposts, about the struggles and weight of being a perfect Catholic boy while dealing with the knowledge that he's gay. He signed off as Blue, with a small note providing his email: _bluegold1117@gmail.com_

Thanks to whatever instinct, Peter decided to email him, signing off his own email as Pan, telling the other boy how he related and really understood what he was saying.

And Blue responded.

Like the responsible student he is, Peter ends up piled on his bed doing homework to take his mind off Blue, textbooks and notebooks surrounding him and his brain swamped with equations, metaphors, weirdly specific bible phrases and song lyrics.

All of his mutters and groans of complaint and frustration simply echo back off the walls of the empty room, making him feel a strange type of alone.

It used to be louder last year when he shared a room with Lucas, but senior year brought the privilege of single dorms on the upper floor of the dorms.

Peter almost leaps out of his skin when his phone buzzes next to his knee then, his heart doing an odd jump when the notification isn’t for an email.

 

 **CHAT** : _tanya is a mariokart goddess_

 **Ivy** : Hey everyone we're meeting at Tanya’s room tomorrow night wear something nice x

 **Nadia** : i'll wear a garbage bag

 **Ivy** : You’d look great in that Nadia

 **Lucas** : I got the good stuff ;)

 **Jason** : drugs or porn?

 **Lucas** : ;;;)))

 **Tanya** : I found some glowsticks in my bra drawer so i have those as well!

 **Jason:** what

 **Ivy:** huh?

 **Tanya:** ;;;)))

 **Peter** : i’m not gonna ask

 **Lucas:** (((;;;

 **Ivy:** why am I more afraid when its lucas that responds with that

 **Nadia** : we’re all terrified

 **Tanya** : I mean if you guys wanna know...

 **Nadia** : we don't need to know, tan

 

* * *

 

 

Now, if Peter hypothetically screamed and almost fell out of bed an hour after curfew after receiving an email notification on his phone...

No one saw anything.

After fumbling with his phone for a minute, dropping it once or twice, before successfully unlocking it, he opens up Gmail with anxious fingers.

 **FROM:** bluegold1117@gmail.com

 **TO:** roleofalifetime@gmail.com

 **DATE:** Oct. 6th at 11:07 PM

 **SUBJECT:** Re: Take Me To Church

I have to say, Pan, I didn't realise that the freshmen were doing that. Then again, I haven’t been paying too much attention in church lately. Something about a distracting boy being stuck in my mind. I don’t think I’ll be confessing that to Father anytime soon though.

Okay, I've been thinking about this for a while as well. There’s a lot of things I wish I could ask you, about your subjects or friends or activities in the school. But I know I wouldn’t give you the answer if you asked me the same, so I’ve had to stop myself. But I’m insanely curious about you.

Sometimes I think it's unfair that you affect me so much, Pan. I hate myself for asking, but do you think about me as much as I think about you?

\- Blue

 

As he reads the small words on his bright phone screen he’s chewing on his lip and biting back a smile. He reads the email once, twice, completely transfixed on his words, studying the flow of every single letter.

_‘He thinks of me. He thinks I’m distracting. I affect him. ‘_

Is it self-obsessed thinking? Maybe. But let the boy have a crush, god damn it.

Knowing the limited ability of his fingers on a small phone screen with the mortal enemy that is autocorrect, he rolls over in his bed, grabbing his laptop and opening Gmail on that to send a response.

 

 **FROM:** roleofalifetime@gmail.com

 **TO:** bluegold1117@gmail.com

 **DATE:** Oct. 6th at 11:42 PM

 **SUBJECT:** Distractions

Blue,

I’m distracting? I feel like you have that the wrong way around, because I can’t function when I’m thinking about you. Which is a lot. I'm a pretty non-functioning person.

And yes, I think about you a lot. You have a way of sticking in my mind.

I’m glad you get what I meant about the questions.

It’s like… Things are safe when it's anonymous. It's scary enough that you know things about me that no one else knows.

I trust you though, so it's not too scary.

Yours,

Pan

 


	2. a long walk home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you think everyone will know their lines by opening night?”  
> “Um... probably not. It’ll be fine though.”  
> “Peter… it’s going to be a disaster.”  
> “Nah, I can picture it clearly...” 
> 
> Sometimes, Peter wonders if his friend group's dramatic-ness was enhanced by the drama club, or if joining the play simply allowed their true insanity to reveal itself.  
> And this was when they were _sober_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _i'm so sorry this took so long i was cyberbullied into completing chapters for a different fic first _heck__
> 
>  
> 
> idk what this chapter is if i'm entirely honest... but i can promise there's gonna be some more Peter & Jason Action next chapter because parties.  
> ...yay?

“Peter!” Tanya's yell from across the corridor makes Peter jump, almost making him drop his heavy books onto his feet. Next to him, Nadia muffles her laughter.  

“Thanks, Nadia.” She shrugs at the clear sarcasm in his voice, before getting distracted by her phone as it buzzes. She glares at her screen, signifying either a text from Ivy or something from her parents.  

She groans. “I have to go see what the princess wants.” Ivy, then.

Peter can’t help the frown that takes over his face at the girls' exhausting arguments as he watches her walk off. “Be nice.”

“Why?!” Her volume turns a few heads, but she doesn't seem to care as she walks through the hallway, weaving past students trying to get out to lunch. Travelling in the flow of students, Peter moves towards where Tanya is leaning against the wall, waiting for him.

She waits until he's almost fallen into her before she smiles and speaks again. “Peter! Did Matt tell you about his plan?”

Well, that's one way to send the closeted boy into cardiac arrest.

“Um. What plan?”

She laughs, which doesn’t do anything to calm Peter.

“For Ivy's birthday? Next week?”

Sudden, overwhelming relief. “Shit, yeah. Uh, no, he didn't tell me anything.”

She beams, and everyone in the vicinity is reminded of just how bubbly Tanya is. “Great. Meet after rehearsal!” She spins to leave, before quickly turning around again. “And don’t forget about tonight! My room!” And then she's gone again.

 

* * *

 

 

You know those days where you just want it all to be over already?

That's every day when Peter has English.

The issue today? The teacher keeping all the seniors back to lecture them about their essays. When they finally make it out, Peter almost jumps when Jason speaks up from next to him.

“That woman is going to drive me insane.” He huffs, walking in time with Peter as the two of them walk towards the auditorium.

“She does like talking. A lot.” Peter shrugs.

Jason laughs, “You don't say?” he shifts his bag on his shoulder, and Peter watches how his hands move, before catching himself and cursing silently in his head. “Although, she loves me because I get good marks, she doesn't care how I act in class.”

“Lucky. Top of the class.” Jason just chuckles at Peter's words, and the two of them make it into the auditorium right as Sister Chantelle is giving directions for rehearsal.

“Ivy, Nadia, run Act 2 Scene 5.” Peter sees Nadia's face fall into a scowl the second those words pass Sister Chantelle’s lips, and he bites back a laugh at the long sigh she lets out as she makes her way to the stage extension where Ivy is waiting.

“Peter, Lucas, Jason... go from the beginning of Act 1 Scene 4. Everyone else...” Sister Chantelle pauses for a second, sighs, then heads over to the rest of the students who are clearly not paying attention.

Peter sees Jason shrug as Lucas makes his way over to them and the three take up the stage, the chorus having taken up most of the rest of the room.

“Do you think everyone will know their lines by opening night?” Jason asks, and it takes a second before Peter realises he’s talking to him.

“Um... probably not. It’ll be fine though.” He shrugs, tugging his script out of his bag.

“Peter… it’s going to be a disaster.” Lucas says.

“I can picture it clearly: Diane will waltz herself off the stage, opening night.” Jason comments, as Diane unknowingly on the other side of the room trips over her own feet.

Peter hears Nadia and Ivy loudly arguing and can’t help his eye-roll. “Nadia will probably slap Ivy and effectively kill off Juliet early.” That erupts a loud laugh from Jason, who’s probably suffered through more complaining from Nadia than Peter has.

“You know what’s guaranteed? Someone’ll get too happy from my collection,” Lucas nods seriously, “and Sister will just cancel the show to yell at us.”

 “I don't see a scene being run!” Sister Chantelle's voice yells from the other side of the room, making the three boys jump and flip open their scripts to the scene.

“Point proven.” Lucas whispers as he lazily flicks through pages. “So… scene 4?” Lucas asks loudly, enough that Sister Chantelle turns away.

 “Yeah, yeah.” Jason nods to himself, moving around Lucas to get into position.

“What, shall this speech be spoke for our excuse? Or shall we on without apology?” Jason begins his lines, and Peter can feel the sudden shift in the atmosphere the second Jason gets into character.

He's really fucking good for someone who's never done acting before.

Lucas looks down at his script for his next line, eyes widening as he looks at the length. “The date is out of such prolixity. We’ll have no Cupid hoodwinked with a scarf, bearing a Tartar’s painted bow of lath, scaring the ladies like a crowkeeper, nor no without-book prologue, faintly spoke after the prompter for our entrance. But let them measure us by what they will. We’ll measure them a measure and be gone.” He stumbles through the Shakespearean with effort, but with a classic no care feeling you'd expect from Lucas.

Jason sighs and drops his hand heavily on Lucas' shoulder, before letting it drop off. “Give me a torch. I am not for this ambling. Being but heavy, I will bear the light.”

Peter smiles slightly and walks across the stage to the other two, stopping next to Jason. “Nay, gentle Romeo, we must have you dance.”

Jason shakes his head with a soft sigh. “Not I, believe me. You have dancing shoes with nimble soles. I have a soul of lead so stakes me to the ground I cannot move.”

Peter places an arm across Jason’s shoulders, leading the two of them to the front of the stage as he gestures with his other hand. “You are a lover. Borrow Cupid’s wings and soar with them above a common bound.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Okay, y’all can go. I’ve had enough.” Sister Chantelle is out of the auditorium the minute the allocated rehearsal time is over, leaving the rest of the students to lazily trickle out of the room themselves.

“Wait, Sister Chantelle, I made some sketches…” Ivy runs out of the room, holding a sketchbook in one arm that holds some amazing drawings of costumes and characters that Peter was lucky enough to see part of.

“Hey! C’mon, before Ivy comes back.” Tanya’s leaning across Lucas to whisper to the boys in less than a second, and Peter’s not convinced she didn’t teleport.

“So, Ivy’s birthday’s in a week.” And suddenly, Matt is there as well.

Great.

“We’re throwing a party, right?” Lucas is supporting most of Tanya’s weight as she smiles across at the group.

Nadia scoffs, walking over and standing by Peter’s side. “Not when her room is next to mine. I would not like her  _bedpartners_  making their way onto my clean bed.”

“I think a party sounds great. Something classy and small, just us.” Matt pauses, staring up at Peter with a threatening confidence. “What do you think, Peter?”

That fuckhead.

“Yeah, let’s throw a party for Ivy.” Peter finds himself saying.

Nadia frowns quietly, only for Peter to notice, nudging his shoulder as she mumbles “betrayal” under her breath.

“What’s going on?” Ivy walks back into the auditorium at this exact moment, pausing in the doorway and looking confusedly at the huddled group.

“We’re talking about tonight’s party! You ready?” Lucas covers smoothly, turning around with Tanya (who is fully on his back by now).

Ivy’s smile in return is blinding, “Of course. Tanya and I were going to get ready together… and Nadia as well. Come on.” Nadia’s eyes go wide when her name is mentioned, and she’s too surprised to decline as Tanya slides off Lucas, giving him a quick kiss, before grabbing both Nadia and Ivy’s hands and skipping out of the auditorium.

Yes, literally skipping.

Peter smiles at Nadia’s retreating form. and hopes she’s feeling forgiving, otherwise it’s going to be a  _really long night_.

“Have fun!” Jason calls after the girls, laughing when Nadia’s middle finger reappears around the doorframe.

“I guess we’re meeting them there?” Lucas is also laughing, shaking his head in an amused but not surprised way.

“Um. I guess.” Matt speaks up, coughing and turning his head from the doorway.

“You better be there, dude, you’re our ride.” Jason reminds him.

Lucas nods, leading the four of them out of the auditorium and towards the boys’ dorms. “Make sure you have the keys for the van, man.” He laughs to himself at his rhyme and marches with confidence down the hallway. Peter is sure he says something about Wonderland and floating in his mumbling.

Jason catches his eye and the two of them shrug, watching Lucas make a fool out of himself but totally own it as he strolls past freshmen who clearly haven’t been exposed to Lucas Carter™, before both boys burst into laughter.

 

* * *

 

 

**FROM:** roleofalifetime@gmail.com

**TO:** bluegold1117@gmail.com

**DATE:** Oct. 8th at 2:37 AM

**SUBJECT:** rolling

Blue!

I am… what some may call hammered, but I‘d call it a happy  _buzzed_.

So, I may have been at the big senior party that half of the grade was going too, and I may have had too much to drink, and may have made myself really sad as well, and now I may be really drunk and I may be really needing to message you now before I’m sober again so my brain needs to shh.

I keep thinking about you, Blue, and your post about the weight of perfection and how you felt you were sinning.

its funny how being gay is such a bad sin and we’re equally as scared of coming out to our peers as we are to adults but when it comes to other things that people like Father would frown upon, like drinking and drugs and parties and sex, we do it so often that the weight of the sin of it is removed.

maybe that will happen one day with being gay. little gay boys can go out and make really bad decisions and walk in on others getting steamy and drink  _too much_  and get their outfits ruined… but they don’t have to be closeted anymore.

now I’m wondering if you’ve done any of the ‘bad’ things. I have, some of them. I’ve done the first three all in the last four hours. I’ve never had sex though… that’s probably not surprising because you’re the first gay person I’ve properly talked to.

thanks for existing blue

love, Pan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> peter's drunk typing is just me typing without effort featuring autocorrect, essentially.


	3. last friday night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dancing with Jason was fun, in a way that would be terrifying if he were sober, and probably wouldn't happen if he was out.  
> Jason’s face lit up with a grin under the pulsing club lights, and the two boys lost themselves yet again in the music.
> 
> So... Peter doesn't remember exactly what happened last night, but there's a new email in his outbox and something trying to claw its way out of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit this took ages, and only because i've had a lot of shit going on and half the chapter deleted itself :')))
> 
> so sorry about the wait!
> 
> (unbeta'd as always)

Let it be said that drunk Peter was impulsive, emotional and should not be allowed an internet connection.  
When Peter awoke painfully Saturday morning, his head throbbing with stabs of agony, memories from last night flooded into his brain.

* * *

 

  
Lucas was smiling and waving everyone over once they had stumbled off the cramped, smelly church van. Between his fingers he held a small bag of K, as he had referred to it, and he was giving people small doses as they crowded around him.  
“Peter! Ivy! Here!” Tanya had clearly had some K as well as a drink or two, but she still looked beautifully put together as she leaned against her boyfriend. Ivy beamed and ran towards her, dragging Peter along by their linked arms, leaving Nadia following them.  
“Hands out, kids.” Lucas leaned forward to provide to those who asked, as well as a very uncomfortable Matt.  
As Lucas made his way over to where Peter was standing, the latter boy shook his head with a smile.  
Lucas raised an eyebrow. “None for you tonight?”  
“Not this time.”  
Lucas shrugged as he lead their group inside of the club, the two green glowsticks Tanya had given him around his neck making him stand out amongst their group but blend into the shine of the club’s lights.  
The beat of the music was flowing through Peter’s entire being, sending his brain buzzing and making his blood flow to the low bass of the song. He jumped a bit as Ivy took his hand, and watched as she attached two glowsticks, one pink and one yellow, around his wrist, before leading him into the rave of people dancing. He spun around to try and catch Nadia, but instead saw her talking to Jason, and decided to let the two siblings be.  
“Stop thinking!” Ivy called to him, as if she could read his thoughts, dragging him back into the moment of sweaty bodies and loud music.

* * *

 

  
With a groan at last night’s memories, Peter rolled out of bed, fumbling in his bedside table for his stash of painkillers as well as his phone. He downed the pills quickly with a mouthful of water he had thankfully put by his bed last night, and unlocked his phone to be greeted with the Gmail app.  
Shit.  
With his jaw gaping open in a horrified look glued to his face he read the email he had sent Blue last night- this morning?  
Fuck.

* * *

 

  
Only an hour after they had arrived at the club, Peter had lost Ivy and was on his third drink.  
As of right this moment, he was doing some form of dancing to a steady beat, Jason by his side and Nadia's eyes watching.  
Lucas had disappeared somewhere, presumably with Tanya, and Matt was God knows where, doing God knows what.  
Ivy had told him to stop thinking, and let it be said that alcohol and loud music were an excellent distraction from his thoughts.  
Especially when his thoughts mostly consisted of an anonymous closeted boy. And right now, he was surrounded by horny, straight teenagers, so he couldn't help but miss Blue.  
With a laugh bubbling out of his throat, Jason nudged Peter and pointed towards where Matt was trying to flirt with Ivy.  
Presumably badly, considering her strained, almost sympathetic smile.  
“At least he's trying.” Jason leaned in close to say in Peter's ear, any quieter comments being lost to the noise of the club.  
Peter nodded absentmindedly, watching between other dancers as Ivy made an escape from Matt by dashing over to where Nadia was glaring at her cup of water.  
Jason noticed him watching the two girls. “You want to join them?”  
Spinning around to face him, Peter shook his head quickly. Dancing with Jason was fun, in a way that would be terrifying if he were sober, and probably wouldn't happen if he was out.  
Jason’s face lit up with a grin under the pulsing club lights, and the two boys lost themselves yet again in the music.

* * *

 

  
Right as Peter was cringing at the email he had sent, a response popped into his inbox.  
  
FROM: bluegold1117@gmail.com  
TO: roleofalifetime@gmail.com  
DATE: Oct. 8th at 9:04 AM  
SUBJECT: Re: rolling  
Pan,  
So... I can see that you got quite drunk last night. How's your hangover?  
I don't think you meant to reveal what grade you were in, but if it makes you feel better, we're in the same grade.  
You're cute when you're drunk, Pan, and also quite philosophical.  
It sounds like you had an all around eventful night though, so hopefully you get to rest.  
Love, Blue

‘Love'. Fuck.  
Also, Blue was a senior? Holy shit.  
Sorry God.  
Before Peter had the time to seriously contemplate over that, a loud knock on the door startled him.  
“I'm coming in, I hope you're decent.” Nadia's voice, far too loud for Peter's headache but definitely a wakeup, called from the other side of the door.  
Waiting for a moment before walking through into his room, Nadia paused and stared at Peter pitifully lying in bed. “You good?”  
“I'm great. Excluding the tiredness, headache and general... ‘bleugh.’”  
Nadia rolled her eyes with a somewhat humorous huff, offering a hand to help him out of bed, which he took gratefully.  
“Get dressed, we have confession.” She sank down onto his desk chair, flattening her skirt over her thighs.  
“Are you gonna...” Peter twirled his finger as he forgot his words.  
“Turn around? Whatever.” Nadia spun around in his chair, flicking through one of his notebooks. “Did anyone last night mention the new plans for Ivy's birthday?”  
“...No?”  
“She wants to host a Halloween party, so we're gonna merge Halloween and her birthday.” Nadia made an unenthusiastic ‘yay'. “So make sure you have a costume.”  
“Sure. You going to dress up?”  
“Don't think I have a choice, with Ivy.”  
“Nadia?”  
“Mm?”  
“What did you think of last night?”  
Peter could practically feel her deadpan glare at the wall as he slid on his shirt.  
“Oh, I love sitting to the side and watching all my friends have fun dancing and getting drunk while I drink water, and listening to Ivy complain about Matt's flirting was the best part of the whole night. So yeah, last night was great.”  
With a pout, Peter walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind, hugging her awkwardly until she huffed and patted his arm stiffly so he let go.  
“I did ask you to dance with me.” Peter pointed out as he let go of her.  
Nadia sighed, spinning around to face him. “I know, I'm just complaining.” She stood up, brushing her skirt off and raising an eyebrow at Peter. “Ready for confession?”  
Peter laughed as the two of them left his room and started making their way down the hall. “I wonder what kind of things everyone would honestly say in confession.”  
Nadia smirked, her voice pitching up in an impression of Tanya. “I got so high I fainted!”  
Peter laughed, raising one hand halfway in the air in a mocking of Alan. “Sometimes I don't recycle?”  
Nadia laughed as they walked down the stairs, pausing and dropping her voice and shoulders as she made a ridiculous face like Zach. “I finally nailed my girlfriend.”  
Peter lost it then, laughing hard with his whole body. When Zach passed them and gave them a judgemental look, Nadia lost it as well, and the two of them had to try very hard to stop laughing before they entered the church.  
“You good there, sis?” Jason came up to the two as they walked in, face confused as he glanced between their faces.  
“Perfect. How's your headache?” Nadia asked, eyes scanning his perfectly held together appearance.  
“Perfect. Just... don’t talk too loud though.” Nadia rolled her eyes at her twin and walked away.  
“You look very put together for someone who's still got a hangover.” Peter teased, eyes pointing to his tie, tucked in pristine shirt and perfect fucking hair.  
‘It’s not fair that he’s allowed to look this good.’ Peter thought quietly. ‘Wait, what the fuck?’  
“It's all about verisimilitude.” At Peter's blank face, Jason laughed, though not unkindly. “Appearance versus reality.”  
“Sure. You know I don't pay attention in English.”  
“You are always off in your head.” Jason smiled at Peter as they took seats.  
‘I'm not having feelings for one of my few male friends. And I'm not having feelings for Nadia's brother. Nope.’  
Jason smiled at him again, a laugh gently escaping him. “You're doing it again.”  
‘Fuck.’

* * *

 

  
FROM: roleofalifetime@gmail.com  
TO: bluegold1117@gmail.com  
DATE: Oct. 8th at 2:19 PM  
SUBJECT: You think I'm cute?  
Blue,  
Do you ever just... do a very big stupid?  
I'm wording that terribly.  
I am so sorry about my drunk email. I was listing hypotheticals... mostly... but I feel like those are the teenage party movie clichés. I do wonder if I'll ever get to experience some of those typical high school clichés.  
(I'm not exactly hoping for someone to throw up on me though)  
But yeah... I was really careless and I'm sorry. Although, I am really glad to know we're in the same grade. Maybe one day I will actually know who you are? Maybe.  
I did have to wake up for confession, so my sleep-in was lost. And I didn't mean to get so deep, I guess that was the alcohol talking.  
You're cute as well, Blue. You're always so smart and eloquent in your words.  
Love, Pan

**Author's Note:**

> my bare sideblog is [ twoofusstanding](https://twoofusstanding.tumblr.com) is anyone wants to talk to me about bare/this fic
> 
> alternatively my main blog is [ boysareindeedatragedy](https://boysareindeedatragedy.tumblr.com)


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